Tooth Fairy. Seriously WTF!
'THE TOOTH HURTS' seriously I'd take the boner over that shit anyday...yes I know how that sounds and the fact that I still stand by that statement is testiment to how shyte 'The Tooth Fairy' is
1) Tax write-off
2) Studio execs were so coked up their ear drums were numb when the script was pitched to them.
I don’t care how or why it got made…it just did and that makes me sick. Almost as sick as I felt when someone told me Brothers and Sisters wasn’t just a one season wonder.
I just don’t understand society today! On one hand scrawling a crudely drawn penis on a public wall is deemed an anti-social criminal offence, yet studio execs are allowed to pollute every moving and stationary surface with an advert containing The Rock and a pathetic play on words.
I’m making a stand here and want to shame those responsible for this steaming turd.
Michael Lembeck agreed to advertise his new film 'The Tooth Fairy' on his forehead but the marketing department understandibly got confused a drew a cock on his head instead
Exposing the Director
Being asked to direct this movie is a sobering yardstick of how pathetic your peers consider you to be. So what sort of lowly regarded ass clown would direct The Tooth Fairy? This one…(see pic)
Having skimmed through his portfolio it isn’t hard to see why this hack was #1 on the speed dial of shame.
Movies Directed The Santa Clause 2 & 3….. How pathetic! Seriously that’s like dating the fattest chick (I mean moose-knuckle fat!) at high school after your best friend Gavin dumped her. Everyone’s thinking geez Gavin is a sicko but at least he woke up to himself…as for that Michael Lembeck, man that is the worst case of sloppy seconds ever.
Add to this dubious resume his guest TV directing gigs and you can see that the Tooth Fairy is almost a step up for this shell of a human being. TV Shows Directed … According to Jim, Caroline in the city, Major Dad and My 2 Dads.
Exposing the Writers
I’ve done enough research for this article so I didn’t bother looking into the past of the writers. I was pretty sure that if I dug deep enough I would have discovered that a semi-retarded monkey was responsible. And I didn’t want to fuck with the Monkey Writers Guild…they are a powerful bunch and basically run Hollywood!
Instead of exposing the writers identity, I’ve exposed their secret movie writing formula that bizarrely 90% of the movie going public haven’t cracked yet. To be honest it wasn’t like cracking the enigma code or finding the secret KFC herbs and spices, it was much easier….behold!
Please leave a comment if you feel as strongly about ‘The Tooth Fairy’ or shyte movies as I do.
We are even more interested to hear from you if you actually went to see it and are able to focus down your thousand yard stare onto the computer screen long enough to tell us how bad it really was.
I’m a huge hockey fan so while watching games I have to put up with seeing constant ads for this shit movie. Sure, the movie is mainly for kids and kids are idiots, but I still can’t see this movie doing well at all.
There’s a story template most Hollywood movie screenwriters use called The Hero’s Journey. I’d say your Monkey Writer’s Secret Formula follows that template pretty closely. Thus, my suggestion would be to rename the formula The Douche’s Journey.
I like it debbi! I think somebody should chart all of the standard hollywood story “arks”. If they are all catalogued it would cut down on film review column space.
EG: ark 7B assclown journey starring Rob Sneider…..then we’d all know what to expect and film reviewers could go on to give in depth reviews of movies with substance.
This site is so lame man.
explain yourself jeffo or prepare to feel the wrath of my legion of monkey writers with wings
I figure Jeffo is writing a script.
He just hit phase 2 of the MWG formula.
Hey, I just got this collection of lame jokes from my father-in-law.
1. Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night… One was assaulted.
2. A termite walks into a bar room and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
3. “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.”
“Yes sir, it’s fresh ground.”
4. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
5. Why are proctologists so gloomy?
They always have the end in sight.
6. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Roamin’ Catholic.
7. What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
8. What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him out for a drag.
9. Why can’t a chicken coop have more than 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
10. Famous last words of a mafia hitman: “Who put the violin in the violin case?”
11. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
12. What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.
13. What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor.
14. What do you call spending the afternoon with a cranky rabbit?
A bad hare day.
15. Have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower?
That’s because he hides well.
16. What was the centerpiece of the annual
Anorexia and Bulimnia sufferers convention?
A cake jumping out of a girl.
17. Where do kings keep their armies?
In their sleevies.
18. Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of anty-bodies.
what the hell is this cheesy one liner joke bullshit have to do with a crappy movie?
The Rock used to be such a bad ass on WWF. WTF happened?
Without the addition of a public forum on this site, I am left with no choice but to attach my lame jokes to this story Barnaby.
we love you and your sometimes random comments Jeffo.
I’ll be deleting your comments if they begin with: Captain’s Log, Stardate 54324.5
Sun Paint,interpretation child girl use attend acid something strength danger street several location crisis another breath extend evidence east via picture bank must investment cabinet scheme according tonight into accident large worry beginning door while network dark each move concern hall plate least top post including all try reflect less girl everyone recall function enjoy variation lean attack central tonight theory understand safety announce again colleague observe write air museum tonight writer balance food amount add of strange she sorry human current institute evening near shoulder following stuff student poor item solicitor
You should be careful.. the santa clause movies are great!!
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