Lamest Comic Superhero: Matter Eater Lad
Shovels and picks are for fags!
Flying, invisibility, shooting laser beams out of your eyes, turning green & hyper disgruntled were but a few superpowers that kids wished they could be endowed with.
On the flip-side of awesomeness live comic “superheroes” with powers that can only be described as super ghey. One such superhero has our lamey senses tingling. His name is Matter Eater Lad.
Yep the name alone gives you a glimpse at how pathetic this comic book character is. His back story isn’t much better either.
He was born on the planet Bismoll, which over several millenniums suffered a gradual bacterial poisoning of the planet’s food. Evolution adapted the people of Bismoll to be able to eat non-food mater to sustain themselves. That’s right they can eat any mater as long as it’s not food. Meat pies are off the menu but mud pies are fine. F*cking retarded isn’t it!?
I don’t really care how one of these Bismollian turd eaters came to Earth and joined the Legion of Super Heroes, but it happened. Maybe he answered an intergalactic personal ad…possibly even this one.
Whether you are a Legion of Heroes fan or not, Matter Eater Lad ticks all the boxes on the clipboard of Lametardism. Here is some of his work:
Ah, for fuck sakes Matter Eater Lad, have you watched 'Bowling for Columbine' again that's the 3rd gun you've eaten this week.
Seriously the only way this could look any gheyer is if that fence was made out of penises.
Stop humoring him Superman you are better than that! This is almost as implausible as when fatties say they're fat because they have water retention issues.
Ha Ha! The Palace of Villainy has pink curtains.
Matter Eater Lad shows that in addition to his iron gut he has an acid tongue. If I was Brainiac 5 I'd be sicking Computo onto his ass for dissin me in front of the crew.
Swallowing steam...almost as ghey as eating a penis fence.
It must be said Matter Eater Lad's mum is a bit of a MILF. By the way nice name Jan you jealous orphan douche.
Charles Darwin would be spinning in his grave if he knew his theory of evolution was being used to cook up such ridiculous comic book characters.
Why don't the Legion of Super Heroes just bring a packed lunch instead of relying on chef lametard and his giant bee food.
My super power is being able to detect the presence of lame super heroes. What’s your super power?
lol Kevin Smith
Check out dog welder – he welds dead dogs to the faces of villains.
Seriously stuff your ability to fly, this guy can weld dead dog flesh to living flesh!
I still maintain that he’s not as lame as Aquaman. Explain to me what purpose that guy has. He wasn’t even cool when Vincent Chase played him on Entourage.
I disagree Kosher! Aquaman was on plankton watch. Plankton and sea-monkies can’t be trusted and must be kept in check at all times!
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