Retarded News Stories IV

Welcome to the fourth installment of Retarded News Stories. We pay homage to the old adage “fact is stranger then fiction”.

Here are a couple of retarded news articles which have pricked our attention recently.

If you know of any retarded or lame news stories please email them to: thelamest.com@gmail.com



1) Workers Drown in Tomato Sauce
The jist: A bunch of workers in an Indian food factory drown in a large vat of tomato sauce.
Our take: Finally use humans are fighting back! For too long we’ve been the ones having to deal with hard to remove sauce stains. Now the sauce has to deal with hard to remove human stains!







2) Drunk Man gets Bitten after Attempting to Ride 5m Crocodile
The jist: An Australian drunk yokel thought it would be fun to ride one of those cute and cuddly crocs.
Our take: Steve Irwin made a living (and a death) out of riding, prodding and generally annoying the shit out of dangerous animals. This guy should go pro and turn a few dollars from his full-hardy exploits.







3) Car Crash Victims Were Zombies
The jist: Man rushes to aid the occupants of car involved in an accident. To his dismay the car was full of zombies.
Our take: The moral of the story. Never help people in distress, unless you are 100% sure they won’t eat your brains.